How to alienate your fan base: A 10-step guide by Jed York, owner of the San Francisco 49ers

Step 1: Three years after hiring an awesome coach who has taken your team from irrelevancy to a Super Bowl and two Championship games in three years, fail to renegotiate his contract.

Step 2: Instead of extending his contract and paying the man his market value, entertain an offer from a pathetic rival team (Cleveland Browns) to trade him for multiple draft picks.

Step 3: Because the pathetic rival team leaks Step 2 to the media, attempt to justify your entertaining of the trade by making up and leaking the line that the coach’s act is now wearing thin on the player group.

Step 4: Fail to manage your staff so that your strong-headed coach and strong-headed GM relationship deteriorates.

Step 5: Redouble your efforts to destabilize the coach by also leaking to the media that you will entertain other offers from rival clubs who need a head coach in the hope you can trade him at the end of the season.

Step 6: At the conclusion of the season and to the absolute and unfailing disbelief to all and sundry, let your head coach “go” with one year left on his contract.

Step 7: Appear on talk back radio to explain the decision, then fail to offer any insight into the decision making process, thus coming across as an incompetent ass. You can listen or read a transcript of the fascinating interview here:

Step 8: Tell the fan base to hold you accountable for any failings…but then offer no explanation as to how this is possible.

Step 9: For your new coach, fail to hire the obvious man who has 29 years of NFL coaching experience at a number of clubs and at a variety of levels, who has been endorsed by a divisional rival coach, the players and above all has done a terrific job with your defense the past four years.

Step 10: Rather conduct an “exhaustive search,” fly to Denver twice to court a man who has limited NFL coaching experience, then hire a man who is even less experienced, has only known your team at NFL coaching levels and most distressingly resembles coach Singletary (a motivator but not a tactician), thus causing your entire fan base to universally be quoting Colonel Kurtz…”The horror! The horror!”

About Josh Slocum

Born into the red and white of the South Melbourne Swans, I remember being amazed at age 7 to see a team with our colours that actually won something when the 1984 49ers won the Superbowl. I've been following the red, white and gold ever since. Of recent times my frustrations at not winning a Superbowl since 1994 can be heard occasionally on the aussieguysnfl podcast.

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